A Story of Infertility, IVF, Money & Luckily In Our Case – A Baby
They say money can’t buy happiness. Not sure who “they” are – but I can tell you with 100% certainty – “they” are wrong. This is not a personal finance thread. If you are here for stock advice – you can skip this one.
When I wake up tomorrow morning, my little girl Holland will be 3 years old, although her story starts long before that.
It was about, 9 years ago, my wife and I started trying to start a family. I remember we had other friends starting families around the same time and I thought it would be super cool that our kids would grow up together. One by one, they started popping out kids, while we kept “plugging away”. Don’t get me wrong – this part was fun 😉
After about 4-5 years of trying, with no luck, we began all the standard tests. Luckily we live in Canada, so the bloodwork, and “other” tests were free. You know…the one’s where I had to to go into a dark little room with a magazine….
So although the tests were all covered by our provincial health plan- what followed was not. We were diagnosed with “unexplained infertility”. This basically means everything looks good – but for whatever reason making babies doesn’t seem to be working for us. The first procedure was called IUI (Intrauterine Insemination). If you want all the fun details of what this entails…look it up. You don’t want to hear my details about what magazine choices they had in that room…..We ended up trying this at least twice (may have been 3 times…I honestly can’t remember). I believe this procedure was about $800 or $900 per try.
After a few tries, again – with no luck- we were told the next option/best bet would be IVF(in vitro fertilization). If you thought the IUI was expensive…hold on to your hat. IVF costs between $7500-10,000 where I live. In order to do IVF, you also are mandated to meet with a therapist as a couple first to discuss the obvious relationship stresses as well as the potential financial stress. We agreed – even though talking about my feelings is definitely not something I was comfortable with. IVF is when they take my sperm, and my wifes egg, and actually inject the sperm into the egg, and then plant it inside of her….it’s actually a pretty unbelievable procedure.
We tried IVF, and it failed. It was absolutely devastating, and on top of the pure shitiness of the situation, as a financial minded person, it’s also hard to not think about how I just wasted ten thousand dollars for “nothing”.
After some discussion, and saving, we decided we would try IVF one more time. We even discussed adoption (in the case it didn’t work). I still remember when we got the news that the IVF worked – I didn’t believe them. I was super nervous, expecting the worst. It wasn’t until I heard the heartbeat and saw the ultrasound that it started to become real.
Emergency C section aside – everything went fine during the pregnancy, and we were greeted by a beautiful (albeit massive) little girl. She was just shy of 10 pounds and had the most amazing blue eyes (which she has kept to this day).
I don’t really have a point to this story, except to say – Holland is living proof that money can buy happiness. (Best $20,000 I ever spent). We were fortunate enough to be in a position that we could afford to spend the money – but I know a lot of people are not. I also know the stress this put on us, and can only imagine how hard it must be for some other couples. Some places I believe have IVF covered by insurance, or their country (we had a tax credit – although I think the credit has since been bumped from 20-50%).
For anyone struggling with infertility, I know – it sucks. It’s stressful, it’s expensive, and although we got lucky – I know that is not always the case. If anyone out there ever needs to chat – or has any questions about the process – feel free to reach out to me.
One of the most fucked up parts of this story, is that about a year and a bit after we had our miracle, science, test tube baby….I got a message from my wife at work, telling me she was pregnant AGAIN!. NO IVF, No IUI, just a good ol’ fashioned pregnancy. We always thought we’d want a second child, but assumed we’d be waiting and eventually save up for IVF again and hope it worked.
*Cue the Seinfeld Reference*
Anyways, I guess the point of this post is just to say Happy 3rd Birthday Holland. You are the best!
21 thoughts on “They say money cannot buy happiness…They are wrong.”
Funny how that works…after failing multiple times with different methods, you get to naturally conceive the second baby. Thanks for sharing a private part of your journey and Happy Birthday to your little girl!
Thanks for sharing your story- she is absolutely adorable and her eyes!!!! Happy birthday!!
And you have Irish twins!!! 😉
I have a friend who went through IVF and it sounds very difficult with the injections etc not to mention the emotional turmoil.. :(. So happy for you that you were blessed (I’m not religious but I just have to use this word because kids seriously bring so much joy–and fatigue– to your life) with your girl!
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The injections definitely weren’t fun – and I couldn’t even imagine if the girl was afraid of needles…
They are ALMOST Irish twins..I think they are 16 months apart..haha
nice story congrats.
our first son was no problem for us. knocked him on the first or 2nd go.. haha
we decided to wait a bit and try a couple yrs later. Thinking shit i got super sperm once we try you will be knocked up in no time. It didnt happen and when she did get pregnant we had a miscarriage shortly after.
6 months to a year later we decided to get tested. My guys were all good but the wifes eggs werent as consistent (shes a lil older than me). She started some vitamin. Right when it got to the point of spending big bucks. She was knocked up, Luckily. I think my dutch worked overtime there since it didnt wanna spend a cent.
I remember the doctor telling us not to have sex daily or jerk it regularly. She wanted me to do the 3 day drop offs… haha!
I think thats one thing people tring for a kid should note. I had no idea.
Anyways money can create alot of opportunities/ experiences theres no question.
Glad you guys got that millionaire family!
Haha…what are you doing crankin’ it 3 times a day…when you got a beauty of a wife …haha
haha no not a day… they told me to hold reserves. so only bust it once every 3 days!
This brought on tears. Very cool of you to share, Jordan. I remember the announcement of her conception and arrival very well – and the joy she brought to you and Amber and your family. What a very special little person! Happy 3rd Holland xoxo
Thanks for reading “kiki”.
Glad you enjoyed it
Thanks for sharing your (and the wife’s) infertility experience….I had tears reading it.
Holland is beautiful and she is the cutest gift ever….the experience alone is worth more than $20k because it resulted in such an adorable baby. Happy Birthday Holland🎂🎂🎉🎉🎉
Thanks Carol, I am glad you enjoyed it.
She had a great 3rd birthday party!
Happy happy birthday to your adorable girl 😍
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Thank you! She had a great party.
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Weirdly I know of a couple people who had an ivf kid then a natural surprise second! Two of them I work with and are off on mat leave with me right now in fact!! Thanks for sharing your story and congrats on your beautiful child.
Thanks for reading & commenting. I agree –
It seems crazy how often you hear of people being told they won’t be able to ever have kids pop out some babies, or people get naturally pregnant after IVF or an adoption…
I was so skeptical when I saw the title but had a huge smile on my face by the end of the article! Thanks for sharing!!
Hah…thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it.